Finally I'm back to this little space.

How's life been?

I can only say... it sucks.

Work getting too much for me to handle and idk how much longer I can carry on. Dragging my feet every single day to work. Really got this surge to just throw the letter but I know I cannot. There's too much on my shoulder. I got no one to rant to anymore. And I couldn't show it to my family that it's getting more and more tougher.

Idk what's going on in me...... and I think the only time I can let it all out is when I'm in the shower. That's the only time where no one in this world sees it. No one sees the tears that flows down with the water. How I wish I can just disappear from this world.

And I nv felt so lonely before. Yes even though you are with a bunch of people, but u just felt so empty. Is like no one knows you, no one understands you anymore. You are all alone.

Yes and I think I'm losing my soulmate. The one where I have so much fond memories with. The one I nv thought that we can go daysssss wo contacting. Idk how things get so bad. I'm scared. Really scare and it just got worse after hearing it all from you that I actually gave you that kind of feeling. I really appreciate that you actually did voice out and let me know your true feelings. Maybe all this piled up and makes me even more distanced away. Now I'm so scare that I'm actually giving you all those unnecessary 'pressure'.

But I really want to say, I really really miss you, miss the old us.
I miss the times where we can say anything under the sun, meet up impromptuly, nv ending topics to gossip about, going on a holiday with you.
I have always wanted to ask if you are free to meet up, if we can go on a holiday tgt, but the words just got stuck before it came out of my mouth. Perhaps, being told that I'm being an obstacles indirectly had a really huge impact on me.

Recently, any read up on those friendships articles makes my heart hurts even more and how I couldn't control my tears even when I'm on the train. I'm nv that emotional previously but well....

I don't know what's going to happen to our friendship but I hope you know that, I really love you. Hope our relationship get backs to how it's like previously.

Anyway, think no one really cares how I felt and think. We all have our own problems to handle.

Things will get better as time passes right. 💪